GERMAN POP STAR GUITLY OF SPEADING HIV

A German pop star was found guilty Thursday of causing grievous bodily harm and attempted bodily harm for failing to tell sexual partners that she was infected with HIV.

Nadja Benaissa, 28, former singer in the girl band No Angels, was given a two-year suspended sentence. She was also ordered to complete 300 hours of community service with people who are HIV-positive. I bet whoever slept with her is pretty pissed right now.

-AL

BILL GATES LOSING POLIO WAR

Bill Gates walked into the World Health Organization's headquarters in Geneva—for a meeting in an underground chamber where global pandemics are managed—and was greeted by bad news. Polio was spreading across Africa, even after he gave $700 million to try to wipe out the disease. What a noble effort but maybe he can help in other ways, like give me a loan.


-AL